"sometimes i don't want to see the puppeteers, sometimes i just want to see the magic therein, & sometimes i just want to pry open atoms and know how they spin"

jumbled thoughts. alien feelings. feeling distraught. must learn to cope. trust in friends. ruffled feathers. bad friend to others. too demanding. curiousity killed the cat.
wish i were part of something. please don't shut me out. please help me understand. don't leave me in the rain. aren't i a friend? did i say something wrong? do i not say the right things.. don't keep it to yourself. being too nosey perhaps and yea, don't blame yourself. the truth hurts. don't let reality blind you. do not conform. be honest. don't say things just for the sake of saying it. need answers. cold and isolated world. dead-end options. headaches. disappointments. work load kills. burden. blind faith. constant doubt.

oh no. it almost seems like i've abandoned this blog. *grins* so i'm back to update! well.. i've been to KL for a theatre festival and it has been an awesome experience. It's been a whole week of friends, work and drinking fun! and i even tried dancing and i believe i must have looked stupid because i just stannd there and shake to god knows what beat and i'm probably always 2 beats too slow! ahahah
Back to school already and there's going to be a production from the 26th to thr 31st. mann that's the longest i've seen a show run in school. it's a restaging of a show that i did in my 2nd sememester. cool beans.

i hate being cranky. i make others uncomfortable and i get too freakin' emotional.
glad that i've settled some work today. must remember not to slack off so much. must be in control of life.
my eyes are reddish and it hurts for me to open my eyes. i think i might have an eye infection. darn. means i've to wear specs to school. *frowns*
alot of things on my mind. too tired to think about anything. wishing that i can hide under my blanket and keep out things that i don't want to bother about.

today's experience: should not be repeated

sometimes, it's better to be less friendly.

okay. so it's now 12.07 AM. I watched Disc 1 of High Fidelity and watched Meteor Garden. on High Fidelity, i don't know but after watching the first disc i am a little disappointed with the movie. recently, mum bought the book at my request. i'm beginning to wonder if it was a mistake to read the book before watching the movie. however, if i have had watched the movie first would i want to read the book? i would have already known the plot. it's difficult to analyse this situation. eek. so i will continue with the rest of the mvie tomorrow. but really, i had expected something better.

Tomorrow, i'm doomed. i'll probably be the only one unable to produce any writing. this is bad. i had better think of something fast. it has only been 1 week and already i'm starting to slip back into my usual self. i seem to be retarding. i'm sinking deeper into my own hell hole. not good. i don't know what to write, i've nothing to write about. all the time, my mind is a blank. my mind just wanders but most times i don't even remember what i was thinking about. hmm...